This is not an obituary (Part One)

So were about 3 months into this new blog and I guess it's going well. It's not yet become a source for only dumping vile stream of consciousness onto the world. But today's post does bring a few notes of tradgedy and sadness.

My Great-Uncle Homer Williford died this past weekend due to complications from a major stroke he had over a year ago. Homer was one of my paternal grandfather's older brothers and although I had not seen him much over the last several years of his life I was lucky to have spent quite a bit of time with him when I was growing up as my father was closer to his Uncle than his own father.

Homer was a Naval minesweeper during WWII stationed in the South Pacic, mostly in Japan. Although he never spoke a great deal about the war itself, he did always have great things to say about the people and places he saw. I'll never forget the glorious black and white photograph he had taken of Mount Fuji. It seemed Homer reserved his wildest tales for those of a youth growing up in a rowdy and tough West Texas that most of only know from Larry McMurtry novels.

I remember when he taught me and my brother how to use a butterfly knife. This was after regailing us with a story about some younger guys trying to pick a fight with him in bar and pulling the knife on him. Needless to say it did them no good, even though they were younger, out-numbered him and had a weapon he still walked away unscathed and with a shiny souveneir to boot. The knife was then passed onto us, via our Dad, who of course held onto it until we were old enough to be responsible with such a thing.

Homer also had a vivacious and wonderful wife, Aunt Joyce. Originally from Northern California, she was a sweet and adventourous lady who liked to drive around town on an old dirtbike and grew peaches in the same backyard where she taught me to play croquet, a game at the time I had no idea was mostly foreign to this country outside of New England upper-crusters, but it all just seemed normal for her. She loved movie musicals and I remember watching so many for the first time with her when we'd visit. Camelot, Funny Girl, Seven Brothers for Seven Brides, Oklahoma!, Kismet. Joyce and Homer seperated several years ago and she returned to her hometown to be closer to her family there.

Homer and Joyce's son, Steven Williford, is a musician who I grew up watching play with my dad in several Blues bands. Steven now resides in Oregon with his wife Faith and thier teenage son Stevie. He also has an older son, Rusty from his first marriage. Rusty was sort of the cooler older brother I never had myself, he was a dirtbike racer, track and tennis star and eventually went into the Navy where he met his wife and has settled down in the Pacific Northwest as well.

Homer leaves behind a lot of love and a lot of loved ones. I haven't seen much of any of them in quite a long time and it's a shame I'm not going to be able to make it to Homer's services. They are out in Big Spring, Texas. Several hundred and several hours away. It used to be much easier for people, when they lost someone, to drop everything and be there for thier family. Not so much now. Life is too complicated in that way now. Maybe I'm blaming the world when it's really just my life that is too complicated because I let it be.

I don't know. I don't really like to go to funerals or weddings. But that's not the point. The last time I saw Homer was at my brother's funeral just over five years ago. I was barely able to even speak to him because it was his duty to chaperone my grandfather and make sure he was not making a fool of himself. He did as good a job as anyone could expect, I don't remember if they stayed around that long. Homer was in his mid-80s. I know he saw his share of tragedy over the years, including losing a sister-in-law and a teenage neice in a car wreck only 3 weeks after I was born as I was just reminded of when going through some family mementos with my father which included the newspaper clippings. I'm sure at that time of sadness it was nice to have new life in the family even if it was me.

Touchdowns and Teardrops.

Friday afternoon drags on. Part of me wants to write about a personal situation involving my cousin Stephanie, her son Brent Michael and her current boyfriend. I don't like the way he treats either of them, particularly Brent. I love this boy as if he were my own(he was named after me, partly) and considering how little involvement his real father has in his life I feel I have no choice but to interfere where I normally wouldn't. I can't even write anymore about it, still too angry and frustrated.

Time for distraction. Let's talk Football. College football to be more exact. Two-A-Days are just around the corner and preseason polls and predictions are flying around "like flys on a ...", well you can imagine the colloquialism. Here are my fearless predictions for the upcoming college football season.

Pre-Season Top Ten:
1) Georgia (sure they have a tough road ahead of them, but they are starting off with the most upside and consistency)
2) Ohio State (it seems like they can just sleepwalk into another BCS Championship Game appearance with a strong returning defense and weak conference)
3) Florida (Offense should be even more dynamic with Heisman-winner Tim Teabow being able to feed the ball to tailback Emmanuel Moody this year)
4) USC (an early season match-up with Ohio State is going to show if they can play up to title contention or if they are still reloading, new QB Mark Sanchez must show immediate strides)
5) Missouri (Quietly returning a strong defense to go with Heisman contender Chase Daniel on the other side of the ball, has an easy schedule in the Big 12, only needs to watch out for complacency)
6) Oklahoma (We continue with a run of Big 12 teams, they have a big strong O-Line to protect QB Sam Bradford but can they avoid the inevitable let-down game, especially if it's in January again)
7) Texas (Number One in my heart. New defensive coordinator Muschamp should shore things up on that side of the ball with more aggressive play-calling, but there are questions about whether Colt McCoy can bounce back from a so-so sophomore season and who will replace Jamaal Charles at tailback.)
8) South Florida (After breaking out last year, I think the Bulls are primed to pounce on West Virginia's loss of Rich Rodriguez and capture the mix bag that is the Big East)
9) Arizona State (Coach Erickson will prove last year was no fluke and has a very good chance to compete with USC for Pac-10 dominance)
10) Texas Tech (A sexy sleeper pick for so many this year because of the rumored gains on defense, only time will tell about that but it's certain the offense will be explosive as ever with returning QB Graham Harrell and WR Michael Crabtree)

OK That's how I see things starting off. Let's get onto some predictions for the season itself.

That early match-up between USC and Ohio State at the Coliseum will be a low scoring grind-it-out victory for Ohio State, which will give them a bump to #1 (if they're not already there) but that only lasts until they face-off against the upset minded Fighting Illini in Champlain. Ron Zook and Co. wont have a shot a winning the Big Ten outright but they can play spoiler here and I expect them to have an overall decent year. Losing this late pretty much knocks Ohio State out of that 3rd consecutive BCS Championship game appearance.

USC will bounce back at first blowing past the two Oregon teams before meeting Arizona State. I think USC, in a complete opposite of the Trojan's previous match with the Buckeyes, find themselves in a shoot-out with the Sun Devils and they also find themselves on the losing end again as Sam Bradford leads Arizona State to a big victory over USC, making up for their loss to the Georgia Bulldogs back on 9/29.

Speaking of the Bulldogs, in the SEC the whole shebang will be riding on what was formerly known as the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, Georgia versus Florida, played on neutral Jacksonville turf. I think Georgia comes into the game undefeated and unanimous #1 in the country, which is not always the best thing to have on your side when you're playing college football these days. Florida will be a formidable opponent, possibly even undefeated themselves at this point, which would put the hype into the stratosphere. Although I think it's more likely Florida drops a game early to either Miami(Fla) or Tennessee. When it comes down to it, I think Florida is still another year away from being able to win it all again. Georgia wins and Gator fans pray Teabow stays for his senior year.

After Florida, the Bulldogs have a possible letdown game against Kentucky but that's just wishful thinking. It's the week after that where I see a letdown game. Georgia faces Auburn, who I think will snatch the SEC West crown from LSU and I think Auburn pulls off a big upset against the Bulldogs before the re-match in the SEC Championship game where Georgia will get it's revenge and be put back in BCS Title contention.

As far as the Big-12, it usually starts and ends with the Red River Shootout between Oklahoma and Texas. I have to go with my heart and say Texas gets back on the winning track with a close victory over the Sooners, but I fear that a week later the Longhorns will not have enough in the tank to defend their home turf in Austin against the visiting Missouri Tigers. Those Tigers will cruise to another Big-12 North title and I'm guessing they will face off against Texas Tech in the Big-12 Championship game. I see Oklahoma avenging last year's lost to the Red Raiders, but then Tech will probably snap their 5 year losing streak to Texas and that will be enough for them to break a 3-way tie atop of the Big-12 South. I just can't see Missouri making it through the entire season unscathed so I say they fall to Texas Tech and Mike Leach captures his first Big-12 Title and improbably a BCS Championship game appearance.

Then I've got Clemson winning the ACC and USF the Big East. While in the end, I think a one-loss SEC Champion Georgia Bulldog team faces off against those Red Raiders and wins decisively. That would make 3-straight SEC teams winning the biggest prize in College football. Just wait until Texas gets our next golden-armed QB Garrett Gilbert in 2009. Then it's Big-12 Reign again!

"How about a magic trick?"

* Locally shot and beloved t.v. series Friday Night Lights was overlooked by the Emmys yet again, of course the first season was truly brilliant while the lesser but still great second season is better than most everything else on television. AMC's critically raved Mad Men racked up many deserving nominations and I'm predicting a sizable number of victories as well for the show set in an ad agency in 1960. Can't wait for it's second season to start this Sunday, some of the best writing and acting to come along on television in a long time. That looks weird. I just wrong "along" and then "a long" within a few words of each other in the same sentence. Oh well. Here comes yet another "A-Long".

* Speaking of good writing and acting, Joss Whedon's new online short series Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog has now been completely posted online(available for download at itunes or at the official website http://www.drhorrible.com/) and it's a blast. Neil Patrick Harris stars as Dr. Horrible, an aspiring supervillian who has a crush on a pretty girl(Felicia Day) at the laundromat that he is scared to talk to and he constantly has to deal with his evil plans being thwarted by Captain Hammer(Nathan Fillion). Like most all of Whedon's creations it's hilarious, smart and fun. I hope we get more of Dr. Horrible's adventures in the future.

* I am rarely awestruck or at a loss for words so I'm not going to say much about The Dark Knight except - WOW! OK a few more words. Bravo Christopher Nolan! An absolute masterstroke blend of hard-boiled crime films, superhero extravaganza with intensely dark, humorous and heartbreaking character studies. Heath Ledger is THE JOKER. Period. I was already planning my Halloween costume when I saw the first pictures of him in the make-up several months ago, shortly after his untimely and tragic death. Now it's locked in stone, I will be THE JOKER. Period. As far as the rest of the cast, I would be remiss without mentioning them as well. Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart(who deserves some Oscar buzz as well for his fantastic turn as Harvey "Two Face" Dent), Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, Maggie Gyllenhaal, etc... The entire ensemble down to every last henchman is note perfect as guided by screenwriter/director Christopher Nolan, who is really in a league of his own at this point. I can't wait to see this movie again. Haven't seen it yet, call me up and we'll hit that shizz together.

Dear Travis

I can't explain it. I feel as strong and calm as I've ever felt in my entire life today. I don't know where it comes from. Yesterday was terrible. I was so near the edge only fingernail was holding on the proverbial ciff of sanity.

I wish I could transfer how I feel to mom and dad and to everyone else who loves and misses you and hurt so very deeply since you've been gone. Five years. Wow. Seems so long ago and yet still so sudden.

Of course I still get mad at you from time to time and then I'll feel guilt for it. Then I get mad at myself and feel guilty for that too. Or I'll get so down that I start to believe I completely understand the why - You know, THE WHY, that's all anyone can ever seem to think about. I mostly just nod along when someone starts talking about it. When I know the why and if everyone who wants to know why actually knew why they would certainly wish they had never found out once they did. I gotta little rhymage for you:

"You're in heaven/He's in Hell,
If there are really angels/Then please ring that bell"

Yeah, it needs work. Just a freestyle, you know. I've got something even better. Yesterday on my drive home from work I was listening to the ipod on shuffle and the perfect song came on at the perfect moment. It's a live recording of Pearl Jam covering the Dead Moon song "It's OK". I don't have the details of when or where it was recorded but Eddie turns it into a sing-along with the very lucky crowd. Here be the lyrics:

It's okay, we've all seen better days
It's okay, you don't have to run and hide away
It's okay, It's okay, yeah we love you anyway

For in those reckless moments
When doubt is creeping in your head
Feeling like you've lost your youth
And the dreams you had are cold and dead
I can't reach you anymore
That's gonna take a different man
I can't protect you like before
You've slipped beyond my hands
But it's okay.......

I wish that I could light the path
That leads to a life of no mistakes
Hold you from the damned be done
That living out of safety seems to take
I remember still the child in you
As if only yesterday
It was easy to break through
I only had to kiss the pain
But it's okay.......

This is my chance, this is my life
And my opening hour
This is my choice, this is my voice
There may be no tomorrow
This is my plea, this is my need
This is my time for standing free
This is my step, this is my depth
In a world demanding of me
But is's okay....

Well your old buddy Sam just came by so I better say goodbye, again.

Peace, Love & Proximity
Jon-Michael

Sex, Drugs & Kidney Stones

OK. So there wasn't any sex involved last weekend but I did partake in a stupid mix of alcohol and (legally prescribed) pills that had me puking my guts out by 11:30pm Friday night. Seemed kind of strange since I had not drank that much and I've rarely ever puked from drinking anyway. I got dropped back off at my buddy Chris' new place to crash out while they went back out to party some more. Still felt crappy the next morning, but I had to get up at a decent hour and go over to my cousin Stephanie's house in time to meet with grandmother who was visiting for the weekend. Spent all of Saturday just hanging-out with the family and playing with all my little nieces and nephews and boy can they wear me out. So then I wake up Sunday morning and it was like The Exorcist, fluids coming out of every pore possible and excruciating pain. Tea colored urine - Check, Feels like an anvil is on your bladder - Check. G-Damn kidney stones have returned. It had been a while since my last kidney stone attack and this was another whopper but I made it through the toughest parts without any pain meds and by late afternoon I could tell there were not anymore coming, so I was able to lie down and rest. I'm thinking that Friday night's episode of sickness was just a precursor to the stones and not fully a bi product of drinking, smoking and pill-popping, although I'm sure that didn't help. I'm going to take it easy this week and drink a lot of cranberry juice(no vodka).

Now how awesome was Josh Hamilton at the Home Run Derby last night? Totally friggin' super awesome if you ask me! Sure he didn't end up winning but he put on a show of shows with 28 first rounds homers that averaged 500 feet per. It's his performance last night and his play all season long so far to go along with his personal backstory (former heroin addict out of baseball for 3 years makes a triumphant comeback) that people are going to remember. The All-Star game is tonight. I think the AL has won something like 11 consecutive, not counting the "tie game" from a few years ago. I'm more excited about the second half of the season getting started as the Rangers might be able to make a run at a Division Title or even the Wild Card.

I should mention that I'm only able to post this right now because I am in the middle of a "moment of clarity" in a day that has seen me on the edge of a full-blown panic attack and I'm worried tomorrow will even be worse. I am so completely stupid for not taking the day off. I have no idea if my parents have plans to do anything in particular. I know I don't want to be alone after I get off of work tomorrow around lunch time so I have to find something to do. Visiting an Air Force recruiter is one possibility. I wish The Dark Knight was coming out tomorrow and not Friday.

"You take the good with the bad..."

Good News : I have a new iPod. It's a shiny black 80 gig magic machine that will bring me hours and hours of joy and happiness.

Bad News: We'll just see if spending that $250 after holding out for months since my first iPod died is going to be worth it in these difficult economic times. I paid $4.09 a gallon for gas this morning and I have over a 50 mile commute to work each day round trip.

Good News : I've got a quarter of my vampire-centric horror screenplay Life Blood finished, including 20+ pages in the last week alone.

Bad News : I've only been able to work on it during my downtime at work, which isn't often enough, due to an idiosyncratic writing method I am cursed with that restricts me from working on a particular writing project on more than source at a time. So I can only write while here at work. When I'm at home or elsewhere I have to work on other things that I have already previously started there. I know it sounds very ridiculous but I am only getting more and more ritualistic as I age. I should probably just start going to some OCD support group now.

Good News : I've been getting a lot of good sleep lately.

Bad News : I've been getting a lot of sleep lately due to a mixture of vicodin and rozerem that leaves me pretty groggy and drowsy the next morning and hasn't helped curve my afternoon napping on the weekends either. I think if I cut back on the meds by fifty-percent it will make a sizable difference.

Good News : Shudder To Think, a really cool indie band from the 90s are reuniting for a brief tour this fall. Far lesser known than other recent reunited bands from the same period such as The Pixies, Dinosaur Jr., Stone Temple Pilots, etc. but very cool none the less. I highly recommend their album Funeral at the Movies and even their lone major label release, Pony Express Record, is really fantastic as well.

Bad News : The closest they are coming to Austin is the Voodoo Music Festival in New Orleans, which I probably won't be able to make.

Good News : I saw an old friend today that I haven't seen in nearly a year.

Bad News : That old "friend" is actually a former co-worker who I briefly dated and she had actually been back in town for a while but has been successfully avoiding me and the awkwardness surrounding our romantic dissolution slash transition back into friendship. I have to admit she looked good too. Damn. I'm still over it though.

Well that's the facts of life, folks.

Wimbledon Wowser

I had a relatively quiet and relaxed Fourth of July weekend. I worked Friday morning and then did some occasional cleaning and reorganizing of rooms and closets, but on Sunday afternoon I, along with the rest of the tennis watching world, was treated to one of the single greatest sporting events to ever occur. The 2008 Wimbledon Men's Final between 5-Time Champion and World #1 Roger Federer and the 4-Time French Open Champion and World #2 Rafael Nadal was epic and engaging. Over the course of 4 hours and 48 minutes of playing time, not including over 2 hours of scattered rain delay, Nadal was able to end Federer's landmark streak in a grueling and brilliant 6-4,6-4,6-7(5),6-7(8),9-7 win. It marks Nadal's first Championship at Wimbledon after reaching and being defeated by Federer in 2006 and 2007. He is also the first Spanish player to win at the All England Club since Manolo Santana in 1966.

Incidentally Spain is having a pretty good year sports wise, with Nadal winning both the French Open and now Wimbledon in the same year(first time a player has done that since Bjorn Bjorg in 1980) and recently their national soccer team won the UEFA Euro Cup for the first time since 1962.

But back to Wimbledon. It was such a perfectly played and evenly matched game. Felt like it could just go on and on forever, neither player giving-in or giving-up. I may still be more fond of some great Pete Samprass/Andre Agassi matches of my youth but I have feeling that with time this match might resonate with me even more. Both Nadal and Federer exemplify class and sportsmanship. Coaches all over the country of every sport imaginable should be showing this match to their players. I haven't even mentioned the fact that there was a pretty fantastic Women's final on Saturday between sister superstars Venus and Serena Williams with Venus coming out on top for her 5th Wimbledon Singles Championship. Later that same afternoon the sisters paired up and won the Doubles Title together. Again I say, coaches should be looking to the Williams' sisters as the type role models that aspiring athletes need these days. (And don't try to dump any of the crazy dad baggage on them, it's not their fault what he does or how he acts and if that upsets some people often times, including myself)

Patriots not Pundits

This goes out to all my brothers and sisters serving proudly and bravely at home and abroad. This holiday is for them because they embody the same strength and courage that our forefathers had when starting this whole shebang 232 years ago. It's thier service that allows all of the mouth-breathing talking heads a forum for thier spiteful, petty and hypocritical ramblings. Thank God this is going to be the last 4th of July we have to celebrate while having the single worst Presidential Administration still in office. Little Steven of E Street Band and The Sopranos fame wrote this back in 1983 and Eddie Vedder has been covering it live for years. If you like the lyrics I highly suggest you search You Tube and watch any of many videos posted of him performing the song.

I Am A Patriot

And the river opens for the righteous, someday
I was walking with my brother
And he wondered what was on my mind
I said what I believe in my soul
It ain't what I see with my eyes
And we can't turn our backs this time

I am a patriot and I love my country
Because my country is all I know
I want to be with my family
With people who understand me
I got nowhere else to go
I am a patriot
And the river opens for the righteous, someday

I was talking with my girlfriend
She looked so fine I said baby what's on your mind
She said I want to run like the lion
Released from the cages
Released from the rages
Burning in my heart tonight

I am a patriot and I love my country
Because my country is all I know
And I ain't no communist, and I ain't no capitalist
And I ain't no socialistand I sure ain't no imperialist
And I ain't no democrat
And I ain't no republican either
And I only know one partyand its name is freedom
I am a patriot
And the river opens for the righteous, someday

I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July.

The Middleman

After yesterday's half-cocked political rant I want to lighten things up and talk about a new television series airing on ABC Family Channel this summer, The Middleman, which is based on the comic book series of the same name created by Javier Grillo-Marxauch. I was not familair with the comic but I have enjoyed Grillo-Marxauch's work as a writer/producer on teh first two seasons of LOST.

The set-up is pretty simple; a struggling female artist by the name of Wendy Watson supplements her income by working lousy temp jobs and on one of those jobs she is attacked by a genetic expirement gone wrong. Our title character The Middleman comes to the resuce and is impressed by Wendy's handling of the situation. He then recruits her to join his secret organization that battles against the forces of evil like monsters, aliens and mad scientists intent on controlling the world. All that good stuff from comic books that nobody knows exists in the real world. The Middleman works for an organization that is so secret he himself doesn't even know who or what they are, so he's just The Middleman.

The dialouge is razor-sharp, especially the rapport between our straight-laced Middleman (aptly played by Matt Keeslar) and Wendy (uber crush-worthy newcommer Natalie Morales) and the show is very tongue-in-cheek towards the more fantasy and action aspects of the show, all the while not turning the characters into caratictures. The supporting cast also includes Wendy's roommate and best friend, Lacy, a self-proclaimed confrontational performance artist(also uber crush worthy Brit Morgan) and Ida, the tempermental cyborg secretary.

The Middleman airs on Mondays at 9PM CST on ABC Family Channel and the comic book series of the same name is published by Viper Comics. I will certainly be picking up some issues in the near future. It's a fun, sarcastic and geeky show that has a lot of potential.

POST SCRIPT >>

Speaking of comic books, we're in a summer movie season that has never been so dominated by comic adaptations or other superhero stoires. So far Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk have really delivered and I'll certainly catch Wanted based on the Mark Millar graphic novel sometime this week, while Hancock looks to be a toss-up but I'm hoping for the best. The rest of July will bring us Hellboy II: The Golden Army which looks like a fantastic step forward from the decent first film and then it's time for the biggest one of all, The Dark Knight, opening on July 18th and I'm preparing myself for geekgasms galore. I don't even want to anymore trailers or promos that might spoil one iota of the awesomeness that is to come.